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| Wow... 5 years since VPX. It was my most amazing experience in America, and I miss all of you! | |
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| I’ve spent three Tết holidays in Vietnam now, so I’ve become quite accustomed to all the goings-on. Before the holiday’s finally over (personally, I’ve still got a week to go), I thought I’d use the opportunity to give an overview of events from my own point of view here in Saigon (and keep in mind that there is no fixed way of doing things – other families no doubt do things a little differently.</p>
As I said in my previous article, this is by far the most important holiday in Vietnam, and with the holiday and the lead-up to it, it is a multi-week affair. You might compare it to Christmas in some ways, in that it’s all about bringing the family together and spending time with each other, and also that people are running around for weeks and weeks in the lead-up, panicking and preparing.
The weeks before Tết do get quite hectic. The decorations go up downtown, which are always nice, but cause the whole area to get jammed with motorbikes in the days before Tết (though to be fair, this also happens at Christmas, which is not nearly such a big thing here.) The big downtown street, Nguyễn Huệ. closes down to traffic for a flower show, which gets crowded with locals and tourists alike (and is always fun, but always watch your pockets!)
Stores start displaying boxes of canned beers and drinks, as people stock up on these things for the next few weeks – people will be visiting, and a steady supply of drinks is needed, but most of the shops will be closed or understocked.</p>
This focus on preparations also leads to craziness in the streets. The streets in Vietnam are never filled with the safest of drivers at the best of times, but the period preceding Tết seems to bring out the worst, and you have to be at attention more than ever if you’re driving.
There’s also the food preparations . Unfortunately, the food is probably the least exciting part of Tết – it’s pretty much the same stuff over and over for the duration of the holiday. But I’ll get to that in its own blog post later… giving you my own personal review of Tết food.
In addition to the food and drink, there’s also the flowers and plants. Every house must have these, and two types are the most important -The first is the hoa mai, the ubiquitous Tết flower with the bright yellow blossoms, which are favoured in Southern Vietnam, though you won’t find them so much in the North, as they do not favour the Northern climate.
The second is the kumquat (small orange) tree which functions similarly to a Christmas tree, with lights and decorations (the hoa mai plants sometimes get this as well.) The kumquat trees very widely in shape and size, from small bonsai-like shrubs to giant towering trees twice the size of the tallest person in the house. (In Hong Kong, we used to have small ones decorating the entryway to our house – huge ones like we have here did not seem to be so common.)
Other things go on, of course, in the lead-up to the holiday… making sure the house is clean, buying a bunch of new clothes, insisting on buying some for your non-Vietnamese husband even though he says he doesn’t need any  </p>
There’s also the religious element – praying to the kitchen god before he goes up to heaven to report on the family for the year, visiting the graves of ancestors, and other such things. I didn’t participate in either of those this year, choosing to be lazy and sleep instead (it all tends to be done very early in the morning) so I won’t report on that here.
Finally, after all that is done, we can relax.
Well, not really.
Tết eve this year involved a very early lunch, featuring the aforementioned foods that I’ll describe later (plus a few others), and then it was just hanging around all day, waiting for the evening. In the evening, everyone gathers back at the house, goes upstairs to pray, then waits to cheer in the new year together. Elsewhere, crowds are gathering in the streets to watch the New Year fireworks, but our family is more into the traditional aspect of things, so I’ve yet to see them here, except on TV.
This was about the point Như’s sister turned up at the front door – she was the chosen one this year to be the first person to enter the house. This is considered a very important aspect of the year, as chosing the right person will bring the best luck. She was chosen based on her Chinese zodiac sign (pig, I think) being the most compatible with that of the cat. I had the honour a couple of years ago, along with Như and her brother, as the three of us together formed a particularly auspicious combo for that year (the rat)</p>
More Tết food came out after that – the first meal of the year. The cat decided to sit next to me during that, which I decided to take as an auspicious sign for the year 
About 2am, the whole family (except for the kids and their grandparents) headed out into town. Lots of coffee shops and the occasional beer-drinking place was still open, with lots of excited customers, but, still focused on the traditional stuff, that’s not where we were headed. Instead, we visited the National Pagoda, my first visit there.</p>
Very crowded, very lively atmosphere there, and the pagoda lit up like that at night looked quite magnificent (no photos, unfortunately – I didn’t bring my camera). Visiting temples on days like this is one of the times I really appreciate Vietnamese culture – not just for the event itself, but also because you can go around as the only foreigner in the place, praying to the various Buddhist statues with your incense, and not have anyone give you a second look. It’s completely accepted that I too would take part in something like this, without a second thought or a second glance. Definitely not like some places I’ve been, although many Chinese temples have given me the same sort of experience.
After the prayers, it was home, and just a few hours sleep before waking up for the big family event.
Everyone dresses in their finest for the actual morning, and we await the arrival of the uncles, aunts and cousins. Conveniently, a lot of Như’s dad’s brothers and sisters live in the same network of alleyways, so it’s all quite well coordinated.
Everyone arrives, and the host welcomes them in, offering food for all, beer for men, and soft drinks for the women and children (occasionally a woman drinks beer around here, but it’s not really all that common.) After this, all the children line up for their lixi (red envelopes with money inside), which are given by all the money-earning members of family. A sort of tradition was started last year, which I was not involved in starting, where they all had to say something to me in English to receive the envelope from me. This year, I admit, it was my doing to suggest it, as it was quite funny last year, and this year was equally entertaining.</p>
After this is over, we weave our way around the network of alleyways, visiting all the uncles’ houses – toasting with a drink (or sometimes two) at each one, kids receiving their lixi (I don’t get any, but Malcolm does!)</p>
By the time that was all finished, we arrived back at our place, only for Nhưs mother’s brothers and sisters to turn up for even more festivities. And by the time they’d gone home, it was time to sleep and hope for not too big a hangover in the afternoon!
The holiday continued for the next few days, with more visits to more distant temples, and even more family visits. I managed to excuse myself from some of that, though, and just enjoyed the silence for a couple of days
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| So for the past few days here, I’ve been lying (and sitting) around in the year of the cat, enjoying the Tết holiday, occasionally going out for a bit of sun, some food, some attention, and some gratuitous killing of weaker animals (okay, that last part was a lie). The past week, I’ve felt very much like a cat, in fact (except for the beer drinking – at least the cats share my love of seafood!) This is just timing, of course, and for much of the 12-year cycle, my holiday lifestyle won’t match up to that of the designated animal at all – not sure I live life much like a snake or a chicken, although if we think about monkeys, I would very much like to live like those snow monkeys up in Japan, sitting around in the hot springs all day looking like the very personification of content. Something to work on for another year, perhaps. The curious thing, of course, as I’m sure most readers are already aware, is that in more global terms, we’re in the Year of the Rabbit. That’s the official Chinese zodiac animal of the year, which has spread to Korea and Japan, among other places, and of course makes its own mark in the world due to the sheer spread and dominance of China, its culture and economy in this day and age. Not necessarily a bad thing, but one unfortunate side-effect of all this is that in compilations of Lunar New Year photos around the world (usually referred to exclusively as Chinese New Year*), Vietnam almost always gets forgotten, even when places like Japan and New York – despite the fact that Tết is very much the focal point of the Vietnamese year, while in those two aforementioned places, it is a mere footnote (Japan does use the animals, but brings the new one in on January 1st each year) Vietnam received these traditions from China (specifically from the 1,000 years of political and cultural dominance of Vietnam by China), and as such, it’s very much the same holiday in both countries, with only some divergences in the way things are done. The cat, of course, is the most notable of those differences. (Ox vs water buffalo is another, but as those are both written in Chinese with the same character, plus or minus the water, makes that one a bit more straightforward) Why the cat, not the rabbit? That’s another one of those things that has been lost to history, and you’ll find many theories for it, but none of them quite conclusive. Some suggest that it’s because the Chinese word referring to “year of the rabbit” (卯) sounds like the Vietnamese word for cat, others suggest a mixup in translation of ambiguous characters, while others still suggest that it’s because rabbits are not too common in Vietnam, or due to a pre-Chinese cultural importance of cats that lingered in Vietnam through this expression. This blog will not provide you the answers, though there may be even more suggestions. Still, it makes it interesting, seeing the cat imagery on walls and around town in the old Chinese styles where you wouldn’t normally see it in China. And curiously, it doesn’t seem to have prevented the rabbit from coming along entirely – Vietnamese people are aware of the original Chinese version, after all, and you do see the rabbit imagery cropping up on calenders, red envelopes, and various other markers of the new year. * Though we prefer to refer to New Year here as Tết, or at least Lunar New Year, it is not entirely incorrect to refer to it as Chinese New Year either – Vietnamese people do often refer to their traditional calendar as the “Chinese calendar” (as opposed to the Western calendar), and it is that Chinese calendar on which the New Year is based. You’ll often see Chinese characters cropping up in various places for these purposes too. Share on Facebook Originally published at Saigon Sunsets. You can comment here or there. | |
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| Sitting around at the start of a two-week holiday thanks to Tết, and I realised how late I am with my next post here, so thought it would be good to at least get one more done before the month is over.
This would be an ideal time to get out of town, under most circumstances… and indeed, the majority of friends are off exploring other places, or visiting their own families wherever they live. I’m staying here for various reasons, but the biggest one is that my wife loves spending this time of year with family.
I believe I’ve briefly mentioned before what an integral part of Vietnamese society (as with many neighbouring societies) the family is. This time of year it becomes more obvious than ever, as everyone works to sort things out and make sure everything’s perfect before we tick over into a new year in a few days.
This post isn’t about Tết, though… but there’s still plenty of time for that.
No, I thought that as the last of my introductory (or January) posts, I should finish up on my general family introduction, but this time, rather than a language lesson, talk a bit about its importance.
To some degree, family is important in all countries, obviously… but it’s different here. Where I’m from, family is just one of many important aspects of life – how important really varies depending on who you are. In Vietnam, it’s the core unit that makes up society. Almost everything is centered on family here. You can see it change at the edges, just a little, as friends become more a more important part of the young Vietnamese social life, but even nowadays, rarely does that come at the expense of the family itself. Family is an overwhelmingly cohesive whole, and that is unlikely to change anytime soon.
The nice thing of course is that this extends to others welcomed into the family too – such as myself. As a foreigner, I was never quite sure what to expect at first, as in some countries, families can be rather standoffish and even wary of extending familial closeness to a foreigner, but Vietnam is by far the most welcoming place I’ve ever been in, in this respect. Even in the beginning, I was treated as as much a part of the family as everyone else, and that is not an unusual experience to have here.
This has both its good and bad sides, of course. The good side is the closeness of family here. The well-being of everyone in the family is of the utmost importance, and if someone’s in trouble for whatever reason, everyone will come together to help. There’s never a need to feel awkward about asking for something, because it’s never going to be an issue – not within the immediate family, and often not within the extended family either.
Despite the official name of the country, there’s no real socialism here – if people get sick, get in an accident, remain unemployed for a long time, there isn’t much in the way of official support. But in its way here, the family provides its own socialist network, and everyone will do their best to support the ones that can’t support themselves. And those people, in most cases at least, won’t let that help go unappreciated.
There are exceptions, of course, as always – there’s no such thing as perfect harmony, after all, and a Vietnamese family can be an intriguing soap opera at times.
But that too is all within the family. Looking outside, the family comes together as a whole.
But this is where it can get problematic – it pretty much stops at family and friends Despite this strength of family, there can often be an extreme amount of apathy towards outsiders. I do want to emphasise here that this is by no means a universal truth in Vietnam, and this is not to say that Vietnamese people are hostile to strangers (they’re not at all, and are often still quite friendly) but among many, at least from my perspective, there can be a distinct lack of concern towards others.
This manifests in its most obvious form on the roads, I think, where everyone pretty much acts like they’re the only one on the road, but you can see it other places too – lifts and queues, for two. I’m not going to get into those in any more detail now – I don’t want to turn this into a complaint blog – though I may touch on them again later, after some more positive and/or neutral stuff.
Next, if I can get to it in the next few days (and I should, since I wont be doing too much else, but there’s a lot of preparation in the build-up to Tết, so who knows…), I’ll write a bit more about the holiday itself, though there’s so much to get through that I’ll probably still have a lot left over for next year!
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It’s a bad pun to begin with, given that the vowels are not quite right, but it’s confounded by the fact that even as a tenuous pun, it only works in the southern dialect – in the south, the d character is pronounced like a y, whereas in the north, it’s pronounced like a z. If you want your actual English d sound, you need a đ. But now that’s out of the way…
There are several distinct pieces of information I need to know when addressing a Vietnamese aunt or uncle. Most importantly, are they from the father’s or mother’s side of the family? Next, what number are they in the birth order of the family? And does that make them older or younger than my in-laws (only matters in certain cases). Finally, are they a blood-relative, or only married to one?
What it means is that there at least 4 different terms to address the uncles, and 4 more to address the aunts. This then goes together with their birth number (or occasionally the personal name, though in my experience that’s less common than the number). For the uncles, we have cậu for the mother’s brothers, bác for the father’s older brothers, chú for the father’s younger brothers, and dượng for the husbands of the sisters of either parents. And for the aunts, we have dì for the mother’s sisters, cô for the father’s sisters, mợ for the mother’s sisters’ husbands, and thím for the father’s sisters’ husbands. With such big, extended families still being the norm for that generation, this can be quite challenging to keep track of sometimes. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with bác myself, my father-in-law being the oldest male on his side, though I do still hear it among other family relationships, so it’s useful to know.
That also makes me a dượng to all my nephews, and they’ve been taught to call me dượng ba (Uncle 3) already (me being the husband of the second-born of that family*). Only one of them actually calls me that, however. The other somehow got mixed up somewhere along the line, and consistently refers to me as Chris ba (Chris 3). At one point, they tried to get him to change it to the right one, but I told them not to bother, enjoying this strange cultural mix that has emerged. We’ll see if he keeps it up when he’s older…
Cousins, fortunately, are easier, as we can just use the standard anh or chị followed by personal name if they’re older (though the numbering system is still possible, based on their positions within their own families, not compared to my wife’s, thankfully), and just personal names if they’re younger.
As someone still struggling to learn the language, getting things wrong does not result in offense – it just results in being laughed at and then corrected – but addressing them the correct way results in huge appreciation… and, if sitting with all the uncles, usually tends to result in a một, hai, ba, dô (the last of which is not usually spelt like that, but here represents the actual local pronunciation, as described in the first paragraph.), and most likely a trăm phần trăm too. Both of which I’ll bring up again when I get to the drinking entries!
* And by the way, I did find more information regarding the reason for this numbering system, which will form a whole new post at a later date…
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Happy New Year, everyone! Not that it’s Vietnamese New Year yet… we’re still on the lead-up to it, but Vietnam uses the Western calendar like most countries (actually it uses the Western and the Chinese calendars, for different purposes, but that’s a topic for another post), and so even while Tết is the most significant holiday in Vietnam, the Western one, as the end of the calendar year, still has some significance, and the downtown streets do get quite clogged before the countdown to midnight.
We celebrated by staying away from the downtown area (and the fireworks) by having a dinner at our apartment, and then heading with my wife and her brothers and sisters to a rather quiet open-air restaurant bar nearby. A slightly different new year.
Which brings me to the two possible choices for my first post: family and drinking.
Both are fairly significant things in Vietnam, often tied together in many ways, and I was originally going to start this blog series with one about Vietnamese drinking etiquette… but I decided to save that one for later. Because while it is indeed a significant part of the culture here (at least among the men), there is nothing in Vietnam more important than family, so it only seems right that I start with something touching on that.
Obviously, there’s a lot to write about family, and future posts will surely get into more depth about that, but I thought it would be nice to start with a post or two about the complex system of terms of address – of which there are many, many terms. It’s one of the first things I learned in terms of language, and says quite a lot about the family structure and how it reflects Vietnamese society and culture. Many (but not all) of these family terms do in fact extend beyond the family and used among non-relatives too.
Spend a little time in Vietnam, and you’ll come across a couple of them very quickly – the first two you’ll learn will most likely be anh, chị, and em. A lot of people fall into the assumption that guys get called anh and younger girls get called em. This is because most of the ems you meet will be younger girls working in restaurants/shops/etc. The actual term, however, more literally means “younger sibling”, and can be used for anyone you are confident is younger than you, male or female. No offence is taken, except by certain foreign males who feel a bit funny about being addressed as em, even when it’s correct. Among Vietnamese people, however, this is not a problem whatsoever – most of the main terms of address of Vietnam are based on age differentials.
So em for anyone the right age to be your younger sibling, basically. Similarly, anh and chị mean “older brother” and “older sister” respectively, and can be used for any male or female of the appropriate age. This generally means not people old enough to be your uncle (for which there is a different term of address, which I’ll discuss later), though I have noticed that some women who should surely be addressed as cô (Aunty), sometimes also get addressed as chị, as a sort of flattery I guess. Similarly, some chịs also like to be called em, and there will be no offence in such a situation. It should be noted that this distinction only applies outside the family – real aunties will always be addressed as such.
(Of course, there was that one conceited woman who was clearly a cô, but insisted upon chị. This was highly unrealistic, and she clearly didn’t deserve it.)
Anh and chị also have another distinction within the family – the number. While any younger siblings just get called by their names or nicknames, older siblings will generally be addressed as anh or chị plus a number depending on their birth order. So if the oldest sibling is a boy, he will be addressed by his younger siblings as anh hai, literally ‘older brother #2.
Wait, #2? Yes, that’s right – for some reason, the numbering system here starts from 2, so there is never a brother or sister #1. This appears to be based on some ancient superstition, though no one in the family seems to really know the reason why this started. I will have to investigate further.
Anyway, the next sibling down the line will be anh ba or chị ba (brother or sister #3 – even if you’re the 1st sister, you’re still #3 if you’re the second sibling)
This also applies to husbands/wives of the family. I myself get addressed by my wife’s youngest brother as anh ba (although her sister calls me Chris – she’s a bit less traditional, I guess, or possibly her better English ability has something to do with it.)
These are the easiest and most familiar ones, and it gets more complicated from here. I’ll save the parents, grandparents, and most intimidatingly, the aunts and uncles, for a later post – they need a post of their own!
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| I’ve been in Vietnam for over three years now, and while I’ve written a fair bit about my experiences here (as have many), the focus has always been on myself and the people close to me. Which is fine, and I’m not about to stop doing that, but I thought that, since the new year is coming, it might be nice to try something a little different. Step away from myself, as it were… look around me, at the place I’ve been staying in for the past several years, maybe reflect on that a little bit…
So, for the next year at least, my plan is to write this blog, twice a week, focusing on aspects of Vietnam (and Saigon in particular) that stand out – small aspects of culture and society, maybe little bits of geography, anything that I feel is a reflection of the place itself, rather than of me…
Now, of course, in a way, it’s still going to be about me – I’m the one doing the writing, the reflection, after all, and there’s no getting away from that. Many of my observations, too, will come from my experiences with my Vietnamese family, where obviously I’ve learnt the most of what I know. But I hope to vary things up a bit – some from the small family angle, others from a rather broader scope.
Naturally, this blog should not by any means be taken as a definitive account of Vietnamese culture. It’s not, and it never will be… it will be a blog of the Vietnamese culture, filtered through myself, based on my understanding (albeit informed by others more knowledgable, particularly my wife) and shaped by my own interests and biases. Some things might seem a bit too obvious to some of you, others too obscure to care about. Similarly, some entries may be longwinded, others may be too concise. But I hope that, at least most of the time, I’ll find a reasonable balance between the two.
If you can learn something from these posts, excellent, though to bring it back to myself despite my previous statements, the biggest value in this for myself may be seeing what I myself understand from this whole experience…
My first real post will come next week, during the first week of 2011. Do feel free to comment… I’ll be interested to see how this experiment goes…
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| Yep, it hasn't been a big one on the LJ front, but then that seems to be true of most people nowadays anyway... I still come here for a read a few times a week, because there are still a few entertaining folks posting worthwhile stuff, but between Facebook usage, lack of writing productivity, reading an ever-growing number of RSS feeds through Google Reader, and the apparent complete disappearance of certain people, it's become less of a priority... It's been a good year, though, with lots to write about, even though I haven't ;) Most of that is because it's been the year of Malcolm (version 1), which has simply been amazing... he's taken his first steps, made his first sort-of-words, and is on the verge of becoming a walking, talking person - next year's going to be even more interesting. Work this year has been continuing as usual... intensive Advanced 2 classes mostly, which I enjoy a lot more than the lower levels, and things look set to continue for a while (just got my new resident card that lets me stay and work for the next two years.) This year's travels weren't so much, with Hong Kong, Jakarta and Bali (with Nhu and Malcolm), Taiwan (solo - but visiting ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7) justin_pilon ), and Phnom Penh (final weekend with a good friend who left Vietnam this year, but who could well be back the next one) being my only excursions out of the country. Next year may not improve on that number, but it will bring us further afield - as we plan to visit the UK (see my sister in Scotland and some friends in London), and hopefully also visit Germany and maybe one more country. The UK visa is the most complicated part of that - part of the process will involve a trip up to Hanoi in April, as it's the only place in Vietnam that processes the applications. I'm not making any resolutions for next year, but I do have some plans... the first of which is to rewrite and finish my Journey to the West adaptation, and hopefully get to work on something new. The second is a new blog, about Vietnamese culture through my eyes and experiences (and possibly other things) which I hope to try to update at least twice a week. Working on getting that one started soon, and will update here once it has been. Well, we haven't talked much this year, but hope everyone's had a great one, and that your 2011s are even better! :) | |
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| ETA: The original posts about this are at zia_narratora 's LJ & blog, originals here, and here. Please check them out! | |
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| In Tainan with justin_pilon, and this bar has wifi, so here's a quick note. Taiwan is an excellent place, and having a lot of fun. It has currently reminded me of Kuala Lumpur, Japan, Singapore, and even Vietnam, but curiously not HK. However, despite these reminders, it is it's own unique place and well worth visiting. Oh, and I find it hilarious that Justin thinks the traffic in Tainan is crazy. Clearly he'll have a fun time whenever he makes it to Saigon ;) Off to explore the east coast tomorrow, and will write more later. BTW, just for bogwitch64, I have not hugged Justin for you, but we have ridden internal combustion engines with wheels through the city together, so surely that's enough! | |
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| So... people (and one person in particular - thanks bogwitch64 !) have been wondering how my birthday's been... and fair enough, I've been neglecting my LJ recently, so it's time for a decent update... Came over to HK a couple of days ago to celebrate my birthday, accompanied by Malcolm, Nhu, and her parents. It was a fun plane ride! I finally feel sympathy for all those parents on flights with screaming babies! I'll never complain about them again! (We tried our best to keep him quiet... but this whole idea of having to wear a seatbelt was just unacceptable to him!) Nhu's parents have been quite excited, since they've never really been away from Vietnam (and Cambod ia, in her dad's case) before, so it was all very new. Malcolm has just been bewildered... "why has the scenery changed?", etc... though really, he's quite adaptable right now, so he's no more trouble than he would be anywhere else. Spend the first day just walking down the waterfront, on a cloudy day, to Ocean Terminal, where there's a big baby shopping mall, and bought lots of nice things for Malcolm. Picked up some essential Irn Bru and Cherry Coke for myself while we were at it ;) We were planning to go further afield today, but Malcolm had a bit of a cold, so neither Nhu nor her mum wanted to take him over to HK Island... so we ended up just eating a delicious Chinese meal nearby, and then hanging out in a pub called McLovin's, where I proceeded to consume lots and lots of cider. Certainly a good way to spend a birthday :D But that was just the afternoon... for the evening had already been arranged. An excellent Japanese place, with certainly the best sashimi I've had in Hong Kong. Received some presents for myself, and even more for Malcolm :) After that, my dad convinced everyone to head over to Martini Bar in another nearby hotel, including Malcolm, as he wanted to introduce him to all his colleagues, many over just because there's a big trade show going on in HK right now (my dad's really excited about all this!) So we did, and everyone loved him! Malcolm himself wasn't so sure about the whole thing, but he played along very well! And before we went, the live band sang happy birthday to me! (They sang happy birthday to some other random person first, but Nhu went up to them and got them to do it for me too) So all in all, an excellent birthday! I hope it can be as good as this next year! | |
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| Well, of two countries in it anyway :) Malcolm's Vietnamese passport came last week, and I went down to the consulate to pick up his British passport today.
So now we're ready to go anywhere! And we're off to HK for my birthday in just two and a half weeks: me, Malcolm, Nhu, and her parents - which should be interesting. Her dad's never been anywhere beyond Vietnam and Cambodia, and her mum's never left the country before.
Malcolm won't remember this visit when he's older, of course, so we'll be sure to do plenty more through the years :)
(A few more pics through the link-pic below) | |
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| Today Malcolm got to meet his other set of grandparents for the first time... well, I say got to meet them, but got to stare curiously at them is probably a better we of putting it. Nonetheless, he got to spend some time with his other grandparents, who were overjoyed to meet him. It's nice to see them all together, and hopefully sometime in the not too distant future, he'll have a chance to meet his Scottish cousins too (and of course his other aunt and uncle.) In other news, we put up our Tết tree... similar in concept to a Christmas tree, except much more leafy, and with many small oranges. We still have to decorate it (with suitable Vietnamese decorations), but the flashing lights (the same ones we used on the Christmas tree) are up already, and it's pretty nice. The city is pretty crazy and frantic these days, with everyone rushing around buying everything necessary before everything shuts down for the holiday at the weekend (much of which won't open for another week), but out where I live, it's generally pretty quiet, as a lot of the foreign residents have gone. A lot of the Koreans are still around, and I thought they celebrated New Year at the same time, but beyond an increase in the number of rollerblading Korean kids at my apartment building, I haven't noticed much difference to that effect. To finish up, here are the photos from Malcolm's first month ceremony and party. I'm sure we'll have more soon, but I'll wait till my dad and stepmum have departed for that... | |
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| Thanks for all the great wishes, everyone! We really appreciate them :)
(ETA: I was going to save time and use this as the default thanks for everyone I didn't reply to, but ended up replying to all comments individually anyway. Guess I'm in that kind of mood) ;)
I plan to do a decade-in-review type post sometime soon, and obviously, for me, 2009 was the biggest and best (it helps that I wasn't affected by the economic crisis.) Will see if I get any time to write that in the next couple of days (which may just be wishful thinking, but you never know.)
On another note, I guess we now know the date of the big party: in Vietnam there are traditionally big parties one month and one year after his birth - both based on the Chinese lunar calendar, not the western one. The first month party will just be something small, as he'll be a bit young, but the one-year party will be a big one, on December 18th 2010, I believe (I have to confirm it with Nhu, but that's what it seems like based on the calendars I've looked at.)
So if any of you were ever thinking of coming to Vietnam (you know who you are!), that'd be the time to do it. (good time for the weather, too) ;) Circumstances being what they are, of course, that may not be possible, but just in case... | |
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| Malcolm Pham Miller, born 4:35pm, 28th December 2009, 3.8 kg (about 8.4lb) and very healthy. People are saying he looks like his grandad (my dad), which may be true, though I think he definitely has Nhu's nose. He's an adorable little thing, and we're really ... looking forward to all the wonderful times ahead :) Here are a few photos from his first day! | |
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| My school recently made available 10 "full-time" positions. There were 19 applicants. I was one of the successful ones :)
The "full time" positions are not really a whole lot different to the "hourly" position I had before. They involve a couple of extra responsibilities, but a whole lot of extra cash, so naturally I went for it. I wasn't sure I would get it, as these positions are typically filled by people who have Masters degrees or 10-15 years experience teaching, neither of which I have... but evidently, my application and interview went well, and I got the job!
Very happy, and pretty much perfect timing for me...
...talking of which, I should have even bigger news to report soon, possibly even in the next day or two :) | |
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| In 2010,  garunya resolves to... Take evening classes in neon. Tell my family about narrow streets. Become a better yangshuo. Stop writing with maryrobinette. Give some jawas to charity. Admit my true feelings to rpanne. Ok, I can get with most of these, but I think if I was actually writing with maryrobinette , I doubt I'd be making a resolution to stop! | |
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| Last time I did this was 3 years ago, and there are similarities, but it's not exactly the same. Most notable is the fact that "Five" involves delicious sugary substances in both instances, and "a something in a something" involves fantasy, but different fantasy, in both instances :) On the twelfth day of Christmas, garunya sent to me... Twelve himalayas drumming Eleven foxes piping Ten orang-utans a-leaping Nine wombles dancing Eight storms a-milking Seven geckos a-swimming Six planes a-writing Five bo-o-o-ounty bars Four snow monkeys Three fox spirits Two opium wars ...and a buddhism in an asian fantasy. | |
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| Questions from athenais 1. What is the most interesting name among your ancestors? I haven't really looked very closely at my ancestry, in fact, and don't really know much beyond my own ancestry. My cousin looked into it once for a school project, however... the only name that really sticks in my mind, within my family tree (puns intended) is a woman named Margaret Twig. 2. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? I don't really have many, although that's mostly because I am shameless in my tastes and feel guilty about nothing. Well okay, there is one... almost every time I go overseas, I indulge in a McDonald's Big Mac meal. Doesn't matter how good the other available options are, I just have this craving for it, and we don't have it over here. 3. You can prove, absolutely, that God exists. Will you tell? Hmm, difficult one, but I don't think I would. It wouldn't stop arguments about the nature of god, after all, so wouldn't stop most of the major disagreements/conflicts going on... If it was "you can prove that one belief system's very specific god is real", I still wouldn't want to, as I'd feel that that would be detrimental to world diversity in general (but depending on the consequences for nonbelievers, maybe I'd have to!) 4. What's your favorite Olympic sport? Last time around, it was the Torch Extinguishing event.... got quite competitive :) (that was really the only part that I paid attention to - I was at work during most of the opening ceremony, so missed that too) Sometimes I watch downhill skiing in the Winter Olympics if I catch it, and curling is always fascinating to watch... 5. Do you think you'll ever move back to Hong Kong? Can't give a definite yes, as it depends on jobs more than anything else, but it certainly remains as a future plan and isn't likely to lose that status any time soon. Thanks for those! Since I don't spend enough time on LJ any more, if anyone wants to send me another Q or two (anything you're curious about, or any interesting sort of Q), then go ahead :) And if you want 5 Qs for yourself, let me know and I'll think of some. | |
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| Hey look, it's the place I had my stag night!
Anyway, they fucked that one up. didn't they? Sad to see them go, because they were a good team that I'd have liked to see make it until the end, but it's one of the basic rules, isn't it?
Unlike many people, I don't mind the poker girls, so don't mind that they were saved because of this slip-up (although to be honest, I don't see them lasting too long anyway - I'm really rooting for the Globetrotters, and hoping that Lance leaves the race as soon as possible.)
The logistics was also interesting... if the teams had been allowed to take buses, they could have ended up in central Phnom Penh even earlier than the plane ride would have allowed (because they couldn't get a plane until the next afternoon. The buses wouldn't have left until 6am, but that would have got them to their destination about 1pm, probably about the same time as plane passengers cleared immigration.)
Also, taking a tuk-tuk in Phnom Penh when you can take a taxi isn't the best idea. You might save a bit of money, but taxis go a lot faster, and there's no crazy traffic there like in Vietnam.
Also, that whole helmet task was obviously a set-up. There's no way a family of four would just happen to be passing by, who would also be willing to buy a set of helmets for $10, from a couple of random foreigners!
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| I missed the last couple of TARs, but caught a bit of the latest one by chance, so now I'm watching regularly again.
Enjoying it as usual, even a few too many of the teams seem a bit bland this time.
But if you are watching, and especially if you caught the latest episode: hey, that's my home of the past two years! This sort of thing isn't so uncommon for some of the places I lived, but it doesn't happen too often with Saigon, so it was quite welcome. Even better, Nhu was watching with me, and she was quite delighted to see how her hometown was featured.
It's always great seeing newcomers' reactions to the traffic too - reminds me of when I first arrived in Vietnam. It's not actually as bad as it looks though - especially when you're on a motorbike (we won't talk about the high rate of accidents from stupid driving for now.)
Nhu seems to be hooked on the series already, so I'll definitely be keeping up with this one...
On another note, it just occurred to me that NaNoWriMo is coming up again soon... what are the chances of me participating this year? What are the chances of it being about Saigon? And since I've pretty much just answered the first question with the second one, what are the chances of me finishing this year? | |
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| Smoking should be banned because inside every cigarette is a little heroin. This is what I learned from one of my student essays today. Guess I was buying all the wrong cigarettes back when I was smoking!
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| Last week, new motorbike, this week, new apartment, and, in a few more months...
New baby!
A few of you knew already, but now it's time for the official announcement. We saw the ultrasound on Friday, which was pretty awesome. Our son is due to arrive in the beginning of January. We're quite excited :) | |
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| I sometimes feel like Gandalf fighting the Balrog when I'm marking these students' papers. Both in the falling down a deep, dark abyss sense, and the screaming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" sense. | |
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| I asked jenwrites for five words, as said meme was being passed around. Four of the words she gave me are easy, but extensive. The last, hmm...
Marriage
Was inevitable, and very natural. After the wedding, nothing felt strange or different, because we'd been practically married before that anyway. Some of our friends knew before we ever announced it that it would happen fairly soon. The only difference now is I seem to spend a lot more time at her family's house (the past two weeks I've slept here most nights and barely seen our own apartment). I'd move in, but with her brothers and sisters, etc, there's not enough space to put all my stuff, and it can be a bit noisy sometimes, with the little nephews running around and being appeased by Vietnamese child singers and Teletubbies. We're looking at moving to a quieter, more peaceful area (where we're not in constant conflict with the motorbike parking attendants), though I suspect I'll still be seeing an awful lot of her brother's room - we get his room when we stay over - him and his wife & son (or more often just his wife and son, as he's often out of town due to being a professional football player) sleep downstairs in the parents' bedroom in that case. We get priority due to hierarchy, with Nhu being the oldest, something I've come to appreciate in Vietnamese culture :)
Scotland
Apart from the food, which is the only thing I really miss from Scotland, the country does still play a big part in my identity. Living in other countries since I was 10, I guess some sort of cultural identity feels important for me to hold on to. I'm sure overall I have more in common with my schoolfriends from HK, or even with some of my colleagues here in Vietnam, than I do with your typical Scot, but I've found that it's an important thing for me to hold onto nonetheless... Things like wearing a kilt and having Scottish music at the wedding were very important to me. It did feel good to go back to Scotland a couple of months back, and chances are I'll live there again, if just for a few years (for a couple of reasons), but it'll never really be home again... since I moved out here, my home has always been in Asia.
Vietnam
It's probably the place I've been both at my wildest, and my most responsible. Some crazy, crazy nights, like the things that should have happened in University were just waiting until I got here instead... many sunrises viewed from the comfortable wicker chairs at the outdoor bars in District 1, occasional 2-day benders, that crazy Cambodia trip, just to name a few... but it's also here that I became self-sufficient for the first time, and, more than that, began supporting not only myself, but another person too... I still have the crazy nights sometimes, but it's tempered with a growing family life, thinking about more than just myself.
That description really doesn't say much about Vietnam, does it? Probably because I got thinking about my life, and how everything's changed so much since I got here... as far as the place goes, I've written plenty about it in the past... it has its good and its bad, but it's the good that wins out. Many people, upon coming back to Saigon after their holidays, express nothing but wistful regret at not being on holiday. Me, I feel like I'm home again. Sure, it's crazy and crowded and places to relax are lacking, but somehow it just feels right, and it works for me.
Writing
Vietnam has had one negative effect on me, of course... seems like all my energy or focus goes elsewhere, and it's been a while since I've really been able to sit down and concentrate on my stories. I still think about them, I still talk about them, occasionally I even still write a bit of them, but disciplining myself for the writing has been more of a struggle here (even my LJ has gradually diminished, although it's easier than stories, because I can get away with more nonsense here) ;)
Got some stuff in the works, but will make no declarations or promises right now, because that tends to ensure they'll fall apart, for some reason. But when something new is complete, you can be sure I'll let you know. (and I am hoping the move to the new place will help with this)
Radio
Hmm... not much to say about this one... it's been a while since I listened to radio. Back in New York I used to listen to live streaming of UK radio stations, but the dodgy internet here has put a stop to that (can still do it, just with constant pauses, etc)... occasionally I'll use blip.fm, but even that has its spotty days. And on a more significant note, this means I'm not really listening to much new music these days at all... one day I'll do another of those posts asking for suggestions (it worked well last time). For now, I'm conspiring towards a karaoke machine that'll do all my favourite Radiohead songs (which is not as far-fetched as it might sound - will let you know how that goes!)
If you want your own five words to comment on, I'll be happy to give them to you. Just let me know! (or if you just have any more comments about what I've written here, feel free...) | |
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